Rock-Bottom Loser Entertaining Offers From Several Religions
MARCH 1, 2008 | ISSUE 44•09
FINDLAY, OH—Local resident Owen Pritchard's recent downward spiral into drug addiction, unemployment, and complete and utter hopelessness has sparked the intense interest of several top world religions, each of which is vying for his services as a devotee, the 39-year-old uncommitted prospective convert reported Monday.
"I've finally reached a point in my life where all the big religions want me," said Pritchard, whose two failed marriages and mounting gambling debts have left him penniless and in a state of blind despair. "Christianity, Judaism, Buddhism—you name it, they've come to me. I have no job, no family, no direction whatsoever. So right now, I'm totally in the driver's seat."......
......... click to the link to read the complete hilarious text. In case you have problems telling fact from fiction -- THEONION.COM is a social satire page and it is all a joke! (One can't be too careful with so many nutjobs out there nowadays!)
The King and U
5 days ago
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